Dangers of the Gender Wars

There has been a divide in hetero relationships between black men and women for decades, and recently, two specific movements have only caused that divide to grow wider. These two movements consist of the Manosphere essentially made up of "Alpha" males of any race who assert their dominance in unhealthy and violent ways and the Divestors who have decided to pack their bags and explore their options but not without leaving some hurtful and dangerous parting words. These two movements are potentially the biggest threat to the development of young black men and women seeking guidance while navigating through their adolescence online. Furthermore, the individuals of these movements speak from a place of personal bias, skewing numbers to fit their agendas and disregarding anyone who differs in opinion. Although the damage being done by these movements is horrible, it is not entirely irreversible. So let's look at both these movements, discuss their agenda, and discuss ways to combat such apathetic worldviews.

First, let's ask ourselves what an "Alpha" male is. Oxford languages describe them as "a man tending to assume dominant or dominating roles in social or professional institutions'.

The "Alpha" male archetype has been around since the dawn of human civilization, but for this article, we'll only explore its effect on the African American community.

From the early days of slavery to the late days of Jim Crow and even in our modern era, white men have been seen as textbook examples of how to exhibit the alpha male archetype. Systemic racism allowed white men to profit off minority groups for centuries gaining immense wealth and status. The role of an alpha male comes with a minimum responsibility of being the sole provider and protector of one's family and estate. This socio-economic paradigm was detrimental to black men who were kept from amassing such capital. This often led to black men relying on black women to help bring financial stability to their household and, in the process, feeling emasculated when looking at their white counterparts. Black men realized they were being held to a patriarchal standard that they could not keep up with and directed their anger and blame toward black women. They (black men) believed that women's interest in men is entirely due to hypergamous goals and that men benefit themselves by avoiding women in any capacity (romantic, platonic, economic, etc.) but precisely emphasize black women.

The little they could emulate from the alpha male archetype came in the form of misogyny, homophobia, and internalized racism. As simplistic as it sounds, these flawed character traits didn't rain down on the black community all at once but came as a trickle effect that would severely damage the generations leading after. Black Alpha males have taken numerous shapes and forms, from pimps to politicians, but for years, they never had any real sense of community, that is, until the birth of the internet. Through chat forums and YouTube channels, these men were slowly able to gain a following and eventually breed a vast community of misogyny and bigotry explicitly aimed at black women. These men use their platform to consistently degrade black women whenever the opportunity presents itself, perpetuating stereotypes and spreading misinformation. Infamous figures like Andrew Tate and the late Kevin Samuels, who by some are seen as the face of the manosphere, began a rise to fame, gaining a massive audience of young men from the age group of 14-25 through apps like YouTube, TikTok, and Instagram. Before Tate was removed from Instagram, he'd gained 4.6 million followers and Samuels 1.4 million on YouTube, showing that this message wasn't being spoken into a vacuum. The harmful rhetoric of these "Alpha" males is influencing traumatized young black men who yearn for a sense of community and leadership to further the divide between black women.

Now let's look on the other side and see what makes a Divestor want to divest. With generations of black women being told by society and even their own men that they're the least desirable, too loud, too aggressive, unintelligent, greedy, and lack femininity, it's no surprise that at the turn of the century, many would choose to divest. Originally the divestors arose as Black Women Empowerment, a group aimed at the self-exploration of black women and learning themselves outside of a patriarchal system. This self-exploration would consist of prioritizing self-care and entering spaces outside the United States to see what those spaces offer. The goal of BWE (Black Women Empowerment) was never to spew hate or harmful rhetoric but instead to gain a chance to redefine themselves and escape from the stereotypes forced on them by their oppressors and members of their own community. This slowly began to morph into something negative when shared trauma experiences all had a common denominator, most of the black women in these spaces expressed how they suffered from verbal, physical, and sexual abuse or outright abandonment by their black male counterparts. Coming to grips with all they had been through, the decision to separate themselves from the black community was affirmed. This realization is what brought about the Divestor movement we see today. In opting out of partnering or associating with black men, these women started to date outside of their race in pursuit of the comfort and security they felt black men inadequately provided. The self-help they would now indulge in would be entirely centered on hypergamy rather than for the benefit of the self. The decision to separate themselves from the black community isn't where the train stops; these women had decided they would actively fight against the same men who had caused so much of their trauma. This fight consisted of advocating for the death of all black men, especially in the form of police brutality, which coined the infamous term "Bullet bags." Black men were not the only subjects of defamation; black neighborhoods are also called "Blackistan," pointing to the crime and violence prevalent in some predominantly black cities throughout the United States. These ideologies only promote more strife between black men and women and encourage the next generation of black women who might deal with similar traumatic experiences to adopt these views. Again, these ideals are not born in a vacuum but are rooted in White Supremacist indoctrination.

So instead of pointing the blame toward others, what can be done? Well, for one, we can look at statistics and see if either side's talking points are valid. Despite how each side tries to frame black relationships, 85% of Black men have a Black wife, and 93% of black women have a Black husband, statistically displaying that Black men and women still prefer to be with one another over any other race. Black men who work full-time year-round have a median income of $46,065, while Black women who work full-time all year round have a median income of $41,719, debunking the statement of Black women marrying for hypergamous goals. The data presented shows that Black men and women have been in the same boat since their ancestors were shipped to the United States. There's nothing inherently wrong with a man wanting to provide and be a protector, but those goals shouldn't prevent Black men from being emotionally unavailable to their Black cohorts. When power is abused, and others are left neglected and traumatized, there's something to be critiqued about the actions being performed. There is also nothing inherently wrong with dating outside of one's race or completely abstaining from dating altogether. Still, if the desire to improve oneself is driven by male desirability or the destruction of the black community, those ideals need to be called into question. Those against the viewpoints of the Manosphere and Divestors should open up the space for family and friends to have these conversations so generational trauma can be healed. With the ever-growing internet being a part of our daily lives, it isn't hard to come across these communities. Still, if we equip ourselves with the knowledge to counter ignorance, the black community as a whole should be able to make progress and strive for a better tomorrow.